Tag Archives: money

Letting Go / Standing On The Edge

It’s over a month since I last looked for work. I am self-employed and am deliberately letting my money dry up, to face my fears about running out. We’re still only in phase one of the experiment – allowing my bank balance to run to £0… and it’s not a zero yet.

But am I letting go of my fears about money?

Well, a friend played a practical joke on me by putting a fake parking ticket on my van. Despite the fact that the fine would have absorbed around 20% of the money I had left, I was surprised that I had no reaction to the prospect of being fined. When I found out it was a joke, I wasn’t angry either. What strange behaviour! Guess I am changing.

Picking up Chris the hitchhiker made a difference too ( https://symphonyforhappiness.wordpress.com/2014/05/25/the-wisdom-of-supertramps/ ). What I didn’t put in my previous post is that 10 minutes before I was due to pull over and drop him off, I said to Chris “Mostly everything I own is in this van. If there’s something you need, ask me for it. If it’s in this van I’ll give it to you”. I surprised myself in saying this, because I knew that I would honour it, even if has asked me for something expensive or important to me. I have so few possessions now that I only keep what’s important to me. But having so little, it occurred to me how much more difficult it might be for Chris to have even less. So whatever he asked for, even if I didn’t immediately have the money to replace it, I had more than him so what did it matter? As it turned out, all he wanted was some food and a tarp.

Just to get it straight, I’m not writing about my virtuous behaviour in order to paint myself in a good light, or be the hero of my own stories. In fact, as a Buddhist, it makes me uncomfortable to mention such things. However, I do believe that it’s important for us in the first world to re-examine the concept of money. Cataloguing my personal quest to face my own fears surrounding money is part of my contribution and therefore I feel the need to be honest about how this changes me and share it.

Out and about in London, with guitar and bike.

Out and about in London, with guitar and bike.

After conceiving the £0 challenge the first thing I did was go on holiday with the intention of running out of money. I went to London, to visit friends whom I hadn’t seen in years. My plan to run out of cash backfired when, being so pleased to see me, my friends wanted to pay for most everything. Even my hosts struggled to accept my contributions towards food, without even knowing about my £0 Challenge.

I struggled to spend money whilst out and about by myself because London is so abundant in food waste. Another way I’ve changed is that I’m developing a new resourcefulness, allowing me to operate with less money. My “wombling” skills have increased. One day I forgot my wallet entirely. Hungry at a food court I decided to eat whatever I found that looked safe and intact. Half an hour later, I actually had to stop because I was full, having found 3 half eaten foil containers of chinese takeaway, a bun (still in it’s wrapper), some chocolate, half a fancy cupcake and drunk an unopened bottle of softdrink. Later, when it got cold I found a jumper sticking out of someone’s bin. I wore it all week and then gave it to a charity shop, feeling good about having rescued something that would have gone to the landfill.

Image

Standing on the edge of some stuff.

The best result of this challenge is that I’ve been forced to come up with a way to make a great music video for free. For years I’ve wanted the money to make a slick music video, but it’s been out of my budget so out of the question. But now, I’ve come up with a great idea for a video for my song “Standing On The Edge”, that isn’t diminished by being low budget – in fact, it works BECAUSE it’s low budget, so anyone with a camera-phone can contribute. Whilst it won’t be “studio quality”, it will be great to watch, get lots of people involved and having fun in the process, and it’s totally free to make. Anyone can be IN my new video – all you have to do is send me some footage, as per the guidelines in this link to the “preview video” I’ve created ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XNDwS7wUwE ). 14 people have already contributed!

I’m getting more peaceful and less fearful overall, but not peaceful enough to simply give my remaining money away. Best to let these things happen in their own time. However, something is about to happen that could absorb my remaining money in 1 day. Watch this space…

 

 

 

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…And So The Bank Balance Diminishes

With only a couple of hundred in the bank and having stopped seeking work until my money runs out, it’s been interesting to watch my own thoughts. Sometimes I want to spend/give away all that money at once, other times I want to make it last as long as possible because I’m afraid of running out.

Basically, I’m oscillating between “must spend” and “must save” – two intrinsic compulsions that money provokes in people, both of which are quite destructive and unbalanced. Observing these compulsive tendencies in myself further convinces me of the importance of facing my issues surrounding money by taking up this £0 Challenge.

Two compulsions...

Two compulsions…

Why not give all my remaining money to charity? Whilst this seems like a good idea, the point of the £0 challenge is to face my issues. Therefore, watching my reactions as my bank balance diminishes and working through my fears as I get closer and closer to zero, is an important part of the process and I should let the money run out in its own time. With any luck, I’ll end up less afraid of lack and be a more naturally generous person in the future anyway (which is worth much more in the long run than the small amount I could give to a charity today).

How should I manage the decline to £0? Rule 1 of the £0 Challenge ( see – https://symphonyforhappiness.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/im-taking-the-0-challenge/ ) I’ve set myself is to stop seeking any type of paid work until my bank account reads £0. I made this rule on the assumption that if I stopped seeking work, then none would come my way. But what do I do if I’m offered work before my money runs out? Well, the aim is to mimic what would happen if my business dried up, so I should take work as it’s offered, but not seek any. Surely my money will keep declining anyway?

But what if it doesn’t? What if I don’t promote myself, take no steps to seek gigs, students, clients for my recording studio, CD sales etc, and yet it simply refuses to dry up? That’s when I realized the beauty of The £0 Challenge. If I run out of money and then show that I can build a living for myself from that point, it’ll be a valuable journey for me to experience and for you to read about. If I try to go to £0 and find that I can never get there, in some ways, that’ll be even more profound! It would release my fears of running out of money in a completely unexpected way and it would be an anti-capitalist revolution.

Lets see what happens.

 

Listen to Kimwei’s original acoustic music at reverbnation.com/kimwei , watch at youtube.com/kimweidotcom , interact at facebook.com/kimweidotcom , everything at kimwei.com

 

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